Today in Inexplicable E-Mail

So this showed up in my inbox today:

Hello,

Thank you for applying for *** ***’s Marketing Manager position. Your materials have been forwarded to the hiring committee, which will make decisions regarding interviews. At this time, I do not know when interviews will take place.

Thank you,

Kelli ********

Director of Human Resources

*** ***, Inc.

FAX: (360) XXX-XXXX

Awesome news, right? Their hiring committee will consider me!

But the thing is, I never applied for this position. Also, I’m pretty much clueless as to what a Marketing Manager actually does, which in itself should speak to my utter lack of qualification.

And I’m not entirely sure why I redacted the company’s info here. Perhaps I’m hoping there’s a tiny chance something will come of this, I which case, I’ll be glad I didn't burn any bridges by poking a little fun. (I actually applied for a retail-level position with the same company recently. They shut me down).

I imagine that once they sort this out, they will rightly send me some sort of rejection notice. Incidentally, that won’t even be the first time I’ve been denied a job I never applied for. But if anyone asks, I totally broke up with them. Got it?

Anyway, all of this reminds me: I need to find a job.