Left Handers Day: How Did I Not Know About This?

Apparently, today is Left Handers Day. I had no idea.

I was beginning to wonder why so many posts like this were showing up in my Facebook feed today (thanks, Mary!). I guess that explains it. This has supposedly been going on for twenty-three years, so again, as a proud, lifelong lefty, WHY AM I JUST LEARNING ABOUT THIS NOW?

Anyway, in honor of this special day, please enjoy these fun facts I've put together about lefties:

• Lefties make up only about 13% of the population, but they account for 50% of the last fourteen U.S. presidents. (Half of The Beatles, too!)
• Lefties are twice as likely to qualify for membership in Mensa. (Should come as no surprise to anyone who spends time with me.)
• Lefties are three times more prone to alcoholism than righties. (I'm also Irish, so basically, I'm screwed.)
• "Stewardesses," "reverberated," and "desegregated" are the longest English words that can be typed using only the left-hand side of a standard keyboard. (You're now looking down at your keyboard and testing this for yourself. Admit it.)
  
• Each year, many millions of left-handed Americans are killed, maimed, or humiliated while operating everyday gadgets designed for right-handed use. (Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration there, but seriously, research shows that we lefties are far more accident prone and have significantly shorter lifespans than our righty counterparts. Crap.)
• Jack the Ripper was a lefty, which kinda makes sense when you consider that the Latin word for left is "sinister." (But how, then, do we explain Dexter?)
• Bart Simpson (along with many other Springfieldianites) is a lefty, and has been consistently animated as such for the over twenty years. (A tribute to Matt Groening's own left-handedness.)
• I am the lone lefty among my parents' thirteen children. (Yes, I'm a freak.)
• Lefties are empirically awesome. (This is fact. Don't question it. I've done some studies.)

Okay, that's all I've got. I do hope that everyone was able to enjoy post, and that you righties out there didn't feel too left out.

A Happy Left Handers Day to you all!

An old birthday gift from my Great-Aunt Marie. Bless her soon-to-be-100-year-old heart.

Mike's Big-Time Book Deal

Greetings, SOTD visitors! I realize some of you may already know about this, but I just had to take a little blog-space to share some incredibly exciting news (and to shamelessly brag on my amazing and soon-to-be-famous boyfriend).

Earlier this week, Mike, who has long aspired to be an author-illustrator of children's books, announced to the world that he's landed his very first book deal with a big-time publisher. After considering several generous offers, he's agreed to a three-book hitch with Henry Holt Books for Young Readers. (Apparently, a three-book deal is quite the coup for a first-time author). Here's the official press release as it appeared in Publishers Weekly:

Laura Godwin at Henry Holt has bought world English rights to three picture books by debut author-artist Mike Curato, featuring his character Elly the Polka-Dotted Elephant; the books are scheduled to come out annually beginning in fall 2014. Curato, a graphic designer living in Seattle, won the Portfolio Award at the SCBWI winter conference earlier this year. Brenda Bowen of Greenburger Associates brokered the deal, which Godwin won at auction.

Yep, that was in PUBLISHERS WEEKLY. You know. No big.

Needless to say, Mike is elated beyond words. I believe "in a surreal trance" best describes his state of mind over the past few days. This is basically the realization of his lifelong dream, so yeah, he's in a pretty good mood. I know I'm far from alone when I say I could not be more thrilled for him, and I am SO EFFING PROUD OF HIM.

This is a journey Mike's been on since long before we knew each other, of course, stretching all the way back to wee Mikey's first pre-school art classes. Indeed, his dream of becoming a great illustrator was one of the very first things I learned about him. Not long after we met, I noticed that every bookstore visit with Mike included a lengthy browse in the children's section. He told me of his then-stalled efforts to break into the business, showing me the sidelined mock-up he'd pitched to at least one major publisher. And with a look at his exceptional work, it was quickly apparent to me that Mike is a serious, out-of-my-league talent who is destined for great things. 

Since then it's been quite a ride for Mike professionally. In the four years we've been together, he's gone from freelancing as a graphic designer, to heading up the design team of a Seattle tech company, then back to freelancing, to anxiously pouring his heart into the launch of his own specialty wedding-invite business. But amidst the all-around craziness of life, Mike still made time here and there to perfect his art, and to kindle his simmering aspirations. 

Late last year, after illustrating an author-friend's self-published debut title, Mike put together a successful and spirit-boosting exhibition of his recent work, enthusiastically (and appropriately) hosted by Cupcake Royale in Seattle. The show featured a series of charming new portraits of one of his best-loved characters, Elly the Polka-Dotted Elephant. Naturally, the pairing of delectable sweets and enchanting images like this one proved irresistible to local admirers. Seattle was in love. 

Things really began to take off for Mike when he attended the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) winter conference in New York earlier this year. On little more than a long-shot whim, he entered the conference's Portfolio Award competition, and was, to his own amazement, awarded first place. His win was immediately followed by an overwhelming barrage of solicitations from agents, editors, publishers, and other folks in the biz eager to snap up this emerging talent and his adorable little elephant. In an exhilarating instant, Mike had been discovered, and was tagged as a rising star in children's literature. It was now simply matter of choosing the right agent, and locking down the best book deal. 

Mike has since teamed up with the fabulous Brenda Bowen, who, in their short time together, has become his tireless advocate, deftly brokering the extraordinary book deal we're now celebrating. 

At this point I would say, "and the rest is history," if only that remotely resembled the truth. But the reality is that most of the story here has yet to be written. A lot of craziness is about to come Mike's way (believe me, I've seen some of the book-deal deets, and this publisher has big plans for little Elly), but truly wonderful things lie ahead for him as well. This is just the beginning of an exciting new journey for Mike, and I feel privileged just to be along for the ride.

So congratulations to you, my love Mike! I can't wait to see you achieve your dreams, to share in your upcoming adventures, and to watch the world fall in love with Elly!

Long Weekend Productivity Fail

I am now in the waning hours of what was, for me, a five-day weekend. I did a lot of things with my free time. I got my hair cut, got lots of sun, attended a killer drag show, watched a few movies, took more than a few naps, did a bunch of grocery shopping, recovered from some kind of weird summertime flu, spent lots of quality time with Mike, and scored a couple of Regina Spektor tickets (!!!).

What I did not do is write five blog posts, which is how I had rather ambitiously (foolhardily?) planned to spend most of my free time. Not only did I not write anything new, but just now, I actually deleted the three existing draft-posts that I'd been "working on" for some time now (and which had gone stale in the process). So, instead of having produced a handful of witty and engaging vignettes from the Life of Dan, I'm concluding my extra-long weekend eight blog posts (not counting this one) in the hole. It doesn't feel great.

I do feel like I have a couple of legitimate excuses for my five-day blogging fail. I had been sick for the first part of my weekend, and then the sun was out ... A LOT. Plus, I don't know if you read, but we landed a freakin' school bus on Mars. (There must be some way I can blame that, right?) Also, quite honestly, I've been feeling a lack of blog-spiration lately. I'm afraid my life just hasn't been all that interesting or blog-post worthy these days. I'm sorry, but you can't force these things.

Now, I don't mean to be all Danny Downer here. Sure, I'm disappointed by my counter-productivity, and I know it's my own fault. But I also know I'll snap out of this little rut soon. And I'm certain that my current state of slacker-shame will melt away the very moment I click "publish" on my next great blog post.
In the meantime, I'm just gonna let Regina cheer me up. Enjoy!

I Finally Watched "The Godfather"

Parts I and II, a couple of weeks ago, largely at Mike's urging.

I know, I know. You're shocked. You're appalled. You're wondering how it's possible this otherwise normal, red-blooded American male lived nearly 33 years without experiencing these universally acclaimed, ubiquitously influential cinematic masterpieces. It's a completely valid question – especially considering that these films have been readily available to me since Mike and I merged movie collections almost four years ago.

I have nothing to say for myself. I'm the sorry thirty-something cad who opted for dozens of repeat-viewings of Billy Madison before bothering to watch The Godfather even once. It was a life choice I was doomed to regret.

Indeed, the list of masterpiece films that have eluded me over the years is shameful. I've still never seen Casablanca, 2001: A Space Odyssey, or Tootsie, to name a few of the titles I'm assured are must-sees. I've caught only bits and pieces of the LOTR trilogy (another beloved saga collecting dust on my DVD shelf at this very moment). I may never watch a Matrix movie (which I'm somehow okay with). And many have been dumbfounded to learn that the only Barbra Streisand movie I've ever seen is Meet the Friggin' Fockers. (Here are my gay-credentials. You'll be wanting to revoke these). 
 

So why now? What is it that finally nudged me into the essential cinematic rite-of-passage that is viewing The Godfather? I can't say, exactly. Maybe it's because I'm about to turn 33 and am beginning to feel a little short on life accomplishments. (At this age, Jesus was already a skilled craftsman, a medical-miracle worker, an innovator in winemaking, and a long-haired guru ready to be martyred for his hippie convictions. I figure I've got some catching up to do). Or maybe it was just another planned milestone in Mike's ongoing quest to mold me into a better, more well-rounded individual ("You should really eat more vegetables, volunteer for a non-profit, and watch the Godfather movies, Dan"). I don't know, really. I suppose it was just my time. 

So how do I feel now that I'm "in the club"? Well, to be honest, roughly the same as I did before. It's been a couple weeks, and I'm still waiting for the whole "these movies changed my life" moment to kick in. (After all the hype, I expect nothing less). This is not to say I didn't enjoy my Godfather viewings. I enjoyed them a lot, as a matter of fact. It was six-plus hours of my life very well spent. And, as is usually the case with great cinema, I get the sense that they will only improve with repeat-viewings. So I'll be looking forward to that. 

But there was also a sort of "I've seen this all before" quality to the experience. After decades worth of pop-culture references, quotes, spoofs, parodies, and Godfather-inspired films and TV (one only needs to watch The Simpsons, really), it was virtually impossible not to already recognize most of the movies' signature moments and indelible dialogue. But the fact that I was surprised by so little in these films is surely a testament to their lasting impact and far-reaching influence. 

So now that I've fully cultured myself, and closed this embarrassing gap in my film-viewing history, what's my next move? I suppose it's time to watch The Godfather Part III, no? I'm told by some that it's entirely miss-able, and by others that it's unfairly underrated. But by all accounts, it falls well short of its predecessors. Perhaps I'll just save that one for a rainy day (no shortage of those where I live), and maybe catch up on a few of my other overlooked classics first. I've seen the important ones, and finally initiated myself into High Godfather Society. I am indeed proud of myself. 

And with this important accomplishment now securely under my belt, I feel justified in recommending – insisting, in fact – that you reflect on the cinematic merits of The Godfather while considering the thought-provoking exchange below:

Supershoes!

A few weeks ago, I purchased what I thought was an unassuming, mild-mannered pair of new sneakers:

Nothing to see here, folks

But before long, I began to notice something strange about my purchase. With every step, a slight tugging sensation and odd popping noise emanated from the bottom of each shoe. Upon closer inspection, I uncovered the source of these anomalies, and with it, the shocking secret identity of my new kicks.

You see, while examining the shoes, I discovered an array of strategically placed, subtly concave dimples pressed into each sole. How unusual, I thought. For some reason, my new sneakers seemed to be equipped with what can only be described as suction cups:

So much for shoe that don't suck

But I guess this explains the "popping" sounds

Now, why on earth would an ordinary-looking pair of sneakers come with suction-cupped soles? There can only be one possible explanation. My new shoes are ... wait for it ... SUPERSHOES!!!

I mean, what other purpose could such high-utility footwear have? Clearly, these sneakers were designed for gravity-defying feats like scaling walls, walking on ceilings, and clinging to high skyscraper windows – you know, the ususal tricks for fighting crime and avenging the wrongs of evildoers everywhere.

And what better disguise for a dynamic duo of Supershoes than as the everyday sneakers of a dorky, homebody blogger with decidedly casual fashion sense?

My finest blogging attire

Of course. It all makes sense now.

I can only assume that the person who dons these Supershoes is meant to be a dashing crusader for peace and justice. And with this charge comes the duty to steadfastly guard the shoes' secret power, lest they fall into the hands of some comically twisted supervillain bent on total world domination. (Not so fast, Bieber!)

So how I ended up with them is a complete mystery. I mean, my idea of a "hero" usually involves a foot-long roll and extra cheese. I've probably committed more crimes in these shoes than I've prevented. (What can I say? I like to jaywalk). And the whole "eternal struggle between good and evil" thing? Well, I just deal with that by not voting Republican. (No special sneakers required).

Nevertheless, it is an honor and a privilege to have these Supershoes gracing my less-than-super feet. I may not be the caped crime fighter for whom they were intended. And I may only wear them while avoiding danger, rather than seeking it out. But as long as they're in my care, these spiffy new sneaks are sure to see plenty of exciting, walking-to-the-donut-shop action, and are destined for the sedentary glory of an amateur-blogger way of life.

So keep up the good fight, my amazing, brave Supershoes. I salute you!

Up, up, and away!

A Day of Awesome

Yesterday was an awesome day for a number of reasons.

First off, my friend Geraldine, who recently disclosed that she has a brain tumor, and whose resulting surgery yesterday morning was a complete success, DOES NOT HAVE CANCER. At least that's what initial test results indicate. And in all probability, according to her husband Rand, further testing will confirm this. This is FANTASTIC news and a HUGE relief to Geraldine and Rand and all of us who have been sweating this news for the past few days. I could not be happier for these dear friends. Here's to a speedy recovery!

Doin' fine!

In other awesome news, the Supreme Court saved Obamacare yesterday, ruling in a surprise 5-4 decision to uphold, among other things, the individual mandate. Being the radical, bleeding-heart, Obama-lovin' commie that I am, this is thrilling news to me. Very few were confident the law would be upheld, and hardly anyone expected that it would be validated on the grounds that it was: citing Congress's broad authority to levy taxes. Hardly anyone ... except me, that is. About a year ago, I wrote a Facebook post defending the constitutionality of the individual mandate using this very argument (because I have a clue about these things). This shows that a.) I am obviuosly brilliant, and 2.) The Supreme Court is obviously influenced by my Facebook posts.

And finally, yesterday was a very special day for Mike and me. Our four-year manniversary was a couple of weeks ago, but sadly, we were unable to celebrate it together (Mike was out of town). But what made yesterday special was the milestone it represented: it was the day our relationship became the longest one either of us has ever been in. Or, as Mike puts it, it's the day he became my "longest-running gig." So we celebrated last night as only we know how – with delicious food, wine, and dessert. (Also, with a cameo at a friend's graduation party, at which I repeatedly wished her a happy birthday, because I'm and idiot). 

One of my first posts on this blog was a celebration of Mike's and my first year together. I'm not at all surprised that we're still going strong, because everything I wrote in that post remains true to this day. What I cannot believe is that since then, we have already quadrupled our time together. Didn't I just write that post like last week? Our relationship has spanned two decades and two presidential administrations, and now two weeks into our fifth year, it seems I've been re-elected for another term as president of Mike's heart. (Baarrff). Seriously, though, no one has ever made me feel as special and as lucky as my Mikes still does every day. I could not be happier with my wonderful, wonderful man.

A couple weeks after we first met. Look how cute we used to be!

(For more fun reading, be sure to take a peek at Mike's take on the awesomeness of our day over on his blog. He's got some extra exciting news to share. Check it out!)

Happy Doughnut Day!

Hey there, folks! Do you know what today is? It's my favorite holiday – National Doughnut Day!


Like I needed another excuse – or any excuse – to swing by Top Pot Doughnuts (an institution to which I pay homage with the old-timey spelling of the word "doughnut").

As those who know me well may tell you, I have a bit of a reputation as a doughnut connoisseur (I may or may not be known in certain circles as "Uncle Donut"). So if you're looking for appropriate gift suggestions, I think this book would make a perfect addition to my library. Thank you.

Now, I'm off to grab a Maple Old Fashioned, which should tide me over until my lunchtime Blueberry Glazed, which will get me through to 3 p.m. – the Doughnut Hour.

Anyway, I hope that you, too, are able to get out and celebrate this special day with your friends and loved ones.

Happy Doughnut Day to you all!